Landing perfectly in the middle of what is commonly called Generation Z, or even worse iGen, I found myself attracted to the media commonly associated with our predecessors, millennials. Getting out of a horrible situationship that got me heartbroken and reminiscent, I was looking for someone older and more experienced to guide me. That someone happened to be Carrie Bradshaw.
The two worlds collided, so to process my not-so-break-up I binged watched the entirety of Sex and the City. Safe to say I cried after every encounter between Carrie and Big, and begged her to stay away from him, as if my voice could still change something. Without turning this article into a personal diary, I would just say that every woman must have her own Mr. Big.
However, in the best tradition of anxious teenage girls, I began to wonder. Is the show that came out almost 30 years ago up to date?
The show will soon be the same age as the characters in it, and in a world that recycles everything from plastic bottles to people, how come the sexual escapades of these women are yet so relatable. The show lasted 7 seasons, naturally, it covers all sorts of serious and not-so-topics. Everything from weird fetishes to HIV has been discussed, but not evaluated.
One of the key advantages of watching SATC is that while Carrie is established as the main character, she rarely gives an actual assessment of the situation. Since the viewer only gets her point of view, the judgment comes from her friends. Who just so happened to represent different sets of values. The viewer finds the show more relatable because their opinion will resemble the opinion of other characters. These arguments are the most obvious ones, but I would like to mention them still, as they will be important later.
New York in the show is often presented as a country of its own, with its laws and rules, dating included. However, the world has changed and these rules have propagated to the rest of the world. Hook-up culture and general alienation of young people, as well as the introduction of dating apps have drastically changed the romantic prospects of my generation. Relationships become more complex and more diverse. In its time SATC was pioneering in many themes that were taboo in pop culture. Nowadays we are more shocked by constant smoking in apartments and wearing bras to bed.
Some of the episodes just aged badly in terms of a new political framework. For the modern viewer, show will reasonably appear “too white”, not only it lack diversity it also plays on often harmful stereotypes. Not to forget that Carries somewhat luxurious lifestyle while only writing one column seems a reminiscence of “good old times” of economic stability.
I believe that the character that young Zoomers find the most relatable is Samantha. Her hedonism combined with self-confidence and zero-fuck-given attitude is what many modern women aspire to be. In any case, it is important to have different opinions represented in one episode, one day you can find yourself agreeing with Charlotte on marriage and relationship ethics, the next one you find yourself more Miranda-like.
If we put these reflections aside, the reason why SATC is still so popular is men. While dating pools have changed, men didn’t. They are still the way they are, with their skid marks, commitment issues and weird sideburns that are suddenly coming back in fashion. Coming back to what I said previously, every woman I know had to have an encounter with someone like Mr. Big. Handsome, successful emotionally unavailable and if you are like and have an anxious attachment style, you even met a couple of them. You usually go through heaven and hell with them, and they never quite leave your life completely, the push-pull dynamic is exciting but also tiresome and emotionally demanding. It helped me to realize that My Mr. Big is no different to Carrie’s and by staying with him, I will do no better than her.
Literature and movies are what help us to look at the situation from different perspectives, and seeing myself in Carrie Bradshaw and Him in Big, I asked myself. Is it what I really want? I did, I still do. However, it is better to rip off the band aid, than to stay with someone who can’t give you what you want.
And so I was, listening endlessly to Fiona Apple and Johnny Cash, crying myself to sleep and distracting myself with work. When I went back to Carrie, she was still stuck on an eternal roller coaster with Big. And I wasn’t, because I learn from other people’s mistakes.
